Thursday, October 04, 2007

Sonya slept in a big-girl bed for the first time last night. This came about because yesterday during nap time I heard a little pitter-patter on the steps, and then a cute little face peeked out from the door at the bottom of the stairs. It was hard not to smile at her. So I took her back up to her crib and she very swiftly demonstrated her climbing prowess. It took about 4 seconds for her to swing her leg up on the rail and climb out. So, out came the toddler bed. I felt rather sad about this, not just because it was nice to have her caged in when she slept in a crib. November 2nd, 2007 is the last night I had a baby in a crib. It might sound silly to be sad about that, but it's like a rite of passage, I think. She's not really a baby now. I love this poem by Karen Kingsbury. It's called, "Let Me Hold You Longer." She wrote it for her son, and included it in one of her books. It's also been made into a children's illustrated book. I can hardly read it without getting teary. I left off the last part because it's about her son getting married, which really doesn't apply to my life right now, and hopefully not for at least 10 more years!

"Long ago you came to me, a miracle of firsts...
First smiles and teeth and baby steps,
a sunbeam on the burst.
But one day you will move away
and leave to me your past,
And I will be left thinking
of a lifetime of your lasts.

The last time that I held a bottle
to your baby lips...
Last time that I lifted you
and held you on my hip...
Last time when you had a binky
stuck inside your mouth...
The last time that you crawled
across the floor of this old house.

Last time when you ran to me,
still small enough to hold,
Last time when you said
you'd marry me when you grew old.
Precious, simple moments
and bright flashes from the past.
Would I have held you longer
if I'd known they were the last?

Your last few hours of kindergarten,
last days of first grade...
Last at bat in Little League,
last colored paper made.
Last time that I tucked you in
for one last midday nap...
Last time when you wore
your beat-up Green Bay Packers cap.

The last dark night you slipped in bed
and slept between us two,
When last I read to you of God
or Horton Hears a Who!
Last that that I smelled your hair
and prayed after your shower...
Last time that we held devotions
in the evening hours.

Last piano lesson,
and last soccer goal you kicked...
The last few weeks of middle school,
last flowers that you picked.
Last time that you needed me
for rides from here to there...
The last time that you spent the night
with that old tattered bear.

Last time that I helped you
with a math or spelling test,
Last time when I shouted
that your room was still a mess.
Time and life moved quicker,
taking pieces of your past.
Would I have stretched the moments
if I'd known they were the last?

I watched you grow and never noticed
seasons as they passed.
I wish I could've frozen time
to hold on to your lasts.


Blackmans said...

I completely understand where you are coming from!! I read the poem and had to come back two hours later to leave a comment because just looking at it made me cry! Thank you for sharing that with us!!

Bley's Blog said...

Cool poem, I think all of us moms must feel that way.

The Hoskovec's said...

Dido! Great poem! And good luck with the BIG GIRL BED!

Dillan Family said...

Sara-I have the book by KK. It's great. I understand your feelings about your "baby". You're a great mom!

The Maris' said...

I do not know what it is about the "last time" that is a killer, but I am having a "many and often time" break down. These lasts are killing me. I just want them so stop where they are and not go into the final stages of H.S. let alone beyond that.